Road to the North Pole
- December 12, 2010
As the family writes their Christmas lists, Brian and Stewie decide to go to the local mall to see Santa Claus. The line is extremely long, and the two decide to cut Quagmire instead. Brian inadvertently insults Quagmire's niece, however, causing them to go to the back of the line once more. Once reaching Santa, Stewie attempts to bribe him, but is too late, and Santa decides to go on a break. Dispondent, Stewie decides to head to the North Pole to get his revenge, with Brian reluctantly agreeing. Attempting to trick Stewie, he brings him to a nearby North Pole-themed amusement park. Soon discovering his charade, Stewie threatens to shoot Brian with his laser if he does not take him to the real North Pole. Not knowing why he wants to go the North Pole so badly, Brian questions his intentions, with Stewie revealing his intention to kill Santa. Attempting to dissuade Stewie, without revealing that Santa is not real, Brian is unable to prevent him from hitchhiking his way there with a trucker. Following him all the way to Canada, Brian soon witnesses Stewie survive a fatal crash when the truck suddenly crashes off the road and explodes. Crashing his car as well in a chain reaction, Brian becomes angered, and reveals that Santa does not exist. Stewie becomes frustrated, and continues to attempt to hitchhike, before coming upon a Canadian who gives them a snowmobile.Going on to attempt to reach their destination, they soon run out of gas, before receiving help from actor David Boreanaz, who instructs them to stay at a local cabin. Eventually finding it, the two attempt to survive the night, and set out the next morning on the rest of their journey. As the cold and snow intensifies, they eventually reach a large gate, marked as the North Pole. Entering the fortress, they discover a dark, gloomy factory, with Santa inside. Alerting Santa of his plans to kill him, Stewie discovers Santa's desire to be put out of his misery, but no longer finds the deed entertaining. When Brian and Stewie ask Santa why he wants to die, Santa takes the two on a tour of his factory, and they discover that the elves and reindeer have become wrought with disease and torment from having to meet the increasing demands of a growing human population. Going on to attempt to persuade Santa that he is an essential part of the joy of Christmas time, Stewie and Brian become aware of the hardships that he has had to face in producing millions of toys every year. Santa then suddenly collapses, and becomes too sick to deliver gifts. Agreeing to do it for him, Brian and Stewie set out to deliver the presents, but soon learn that the task is much more difficult than they originally thought. Making things more difficult, Brian becomes a nuisance to Stewie, and they are eventually discovered by one of the home's occupants, who threatens to call the police. Stewie then kills him in order to prevent him from alerting authorities. His wife and daughter discover the murder, however, with Stewie going on to tie them up. Realizing that they have only visited one house and spent an hour and a half in it, Stewie then reveals his tricked out sleigh, and the two decide to give up on their venture. They get Santa and fly back to Channel 5 news. Back in Quahog, Peter discovers that there are no presents underneath the tree. He turns on the TV to the local news, then covering the lack of gifts. Brian and Stewie interrupt the broadcast, and bring Santa out in a wheelchair. They reveal what humanity's greed has done to him and insist that everyone ask for only one present each year, in an attempt to save Santa. Chastened, everyone in Quahog agrees to limit themselves to one gift a year. One year later, the North Pole once again becomes a thriving toy factory, and Santa has returned to health.